Vanilla Twilight
by JIM POVOLO IS MY MAN
Summary: Draco's tought'sabout Hermione after her death. Warning Draco is OOC most of the story. DOES NOT FOLLOW THE BOOKS


_**The stars lean down to kiss you**_

_**And I lie awake and miss you**_

_**Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere**_

My fingers reached over to caress your side as I always would in the morning to wake you up, but all I felt was the icy cold of the silk sheets. I slowly rolled over to my back and succumbed to the memories trying to flood my mind. One of the recurring memories was of when our friendship started. It was far later than I would have liked, but I don't regret the time we had together. I remember… _I had to patrol the Corridors that night ,it was the one thing I loathed doing, more than ever before because I had to patrol with you the 'mudblood know-it all'. The sound of my footsteps echoed off of the stone walls as I made my way up to the astronomy tower in the dead of the night. I pushed open the door, and there you were just lying on the hard floor, staring up at the stars. Without even bothering to see who it was you started talking "Ever since the war ended I've always wondered what it would be like…. Seeing things from up there." You then cocked your head to one side and asked "Have you ever wondered what it would feel like… you know, what it would feel like to die? Sometimes I think it would have been easier to have died in the war, than have to relive it every night in my sleep." You then turned to me and just stared at me, and there was nothing I could do but stare back. You looked so helpless, and even though I had hated you and your friends for the longest time, I couldn't help but want to comfort you. We all knew what happened in the war, but it was worse for you. You lost your best friend and your first love all in one night. Without saying a word I just sat down next to you and gave you the comfort of knowing that someone else was there, that you could count on someone to help you out. _ I had never wanted to be as mean as I was to you and your friends, but I had to live up to my father's expectations of me. But that night, with my father gone for good, I decided to try and make up for my past. I wanted to try and be your friend.

'_**Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly**_

_**But I'll miss your arms around me**_

_**I'll send a postcard to you Dear**_

'_**Cause I wish you were here**_

Because of you I and the rest of the world are able to sleep safe at night. The thing is I can't sleep though, the most I can do is doze off for a few minutes. Anything after that is ruined because I can't stand to sleep at night without you in my arms. I miss you so much that it physically hurts. I only wish that you were away on a trip, and I could only be a post card away. That is not the case though, you are gone for good even though I want you here with me desperately. I don't care what it would take for me to get you back, I would trade anything for just one more hug from you. It has been so long that I have started to forget the feel of your arms wrapped around my waist, or the smell of your raspberry shampoo. Those were my favorite things, and I didn't tell you that nearly enough.

_**I'll watch the night turn light blue**_

_**But it's not the same without you**_

'_**Cause it takes two to whisper quietly**_

I often go out and look at the stars like we used to, but I miss the hushed conversations we had. All the whispered comments we made in fear that anything louder than that would wake the children. Each week at least once I find myself seeing the first haze of blue touch the sky, and I turn to whisper but you aren't there. That happens all the time, I think that you are still here, but when I turn to share something with you I don't see your ever smiling face.

_**The silence isn't so bad**_

_**Until I look at my hands and feel sad**_

_**Cause the spaces between my fingers**_

_**Are right where yours fit perfectly**_

It's so quite now that you are gone, the children have been staying with Harry and Ginny for a while now, just until they feel better about staying in the house. They do miss you… a lot. But as Rose put it, they can't stand to be in the house while you aren't there. Ginny makes them feel better, almost like a mother figure to them. I go to visit every day, and though they greet me with smiles, you can tell that something is still missing. I don't mind the quiet at all, I was used to everything being silent after living in the manor all of my life. What's worse than the silence is not having the feel of your small hand slipping into mine, just to give me support. It didn't seem possible for us to work out, but it turns out we were perfect for each other once I could get past my idiotic blind hatred of you. So many things balanced or fit perfectly together. Our hands, or the way your temperament balanced out mine.

_**I'll find repose in new ways,**_

_**Though I haven't slept in two days**_

'_**Cause cold nostalgia **_

_**Chills me to the bone**_

You know how I mentioned I have trouble sleeping now, the past two nights have been worse. I haven't slept at all in two days, because it has been a year. One year since you were taken from me so abruptly. And in the past two days all that has been going through my mind is memories of us. Our wedding, our first kiss, the time we told our friends about us, when Rose was born. Your memory haunts me, but I don't mind. The bone chilling memories remind me that you were once mine, and I don't regret it at all.

_**But drenched in vanilla twilight **_

_**I'll sit on my front porch all night **_

_**Waist deep in thought**_

'_**Cause when I think of you I don't feel so alone**_

_**I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone.**_

_**As many times as I blink **_

_**I'll think of you tonight**_

_**I'll think of you tonight**_

I've been sitting on m... I mean our front porch all night just thinking about you. I know that you would be telling me not to do this because it won't do good to dwell on the past, but this actually helps. It makes me feel less alone, almost like you are sitting here with me. And this might make ne seem a little bit off my rocker, but I need to feel that right now, because the overwhelming loneliness might just kill me if I don't.

_**When violet eyes get brighter**_

_**And heavy wings grow lighter**_

_**I'll taste the sky, and I'll feel alive again**_

_**And I'll forget the world that I knew**_

_**But I swear I won't forget you**_

_**Oh if my voice could reach**_

_**Back through the past**_

_**I'd whisper in your ear**_

_**Oh, Darling I wish you were here.**_

Maybe when spring hits, I will be able to feel alive again, what with it being the season that gives life. And then I can forget all the horrible things I have seen in my past, but never you. How could I ever forget you my love. You are the one thing that brought color do my once bleak world. And if I could I would go back in the past and whisper to you in the dead of night how I wish you could have stayed how I wish those ex-death eaters never got you. But for now you will just have to trust that I wish you were here. I miss you.


End file.
